So... what's the solution?
After testing more tools than I care to admit (and returning most of them), I finally found something different.
It's called The Glow Wave. And before you roll your eyes at another hair tool - hear me out.
This thing weighs less than my smartphone. Seriously. I can hold it with two fingers.
It's cordless (finally!), heats up in seconds, and the brush head is actually designed for short hair - it catches the layers, lifts at the root, and shapes the ends without any of the snagging or flat results I got from every other "hot brush" I've tried.
But here's what really sold me:
The first morning I used it, I was done in 5 minutes. And my arms didn't hurt. Not at all. I actually stood there for a moment wondering what was different. Then I realized - I wasn't in pain.